QHW, Day 14: Training

The war for the Heart of Glass continues.  The Crystalline Kingdom was shaken by the arrival of the Fleshlings, sometimes disparagingly referred to as the Meatmen.  These ancient boogeymen, breaths of life encased in fragile, contaminating flesh and bone, easily crushed yet impossibly numerous and savage, shook the pillars of peaceful society.  Suddenly, ancient religious doctrine was not merely words etched in stone, it was living, breathing reality.

Morever, it was an intrusive reality.  The Fleshlings were eager to gain access to Crystal lands and to exploit the various resources the Shining Folk had long used merely as decoration.  The Shining Folk did not need many of the things that they found- their innate grasp of the natural energies, flowing through the Heart, were more than sufficient for daily needs.  They had no need for food, as the power of the Heart would sustain them and heal their injuries, should they draw close enough.  

It also enabled them to perform miracles, such as the conjuration of base materials, producing light and shaping common stone and metal.  These abilities made the Crystalline Kingdom livable even for Fleshlings, but it was not these feats that primarily drew their attention.  

The Shining Folk did not grow food or produce any of the other goods that the Fleshlings commonly used and needed, so it was perhaps that both peoples could exist in a peaceful state of coexistence.  But as described in the ancient scrolls, such a thing was not to come to pass.  The Fleshlings instigated conflict with the Shining Folk through their blasphemy and corruption.  They asked for permission to lay eyes and hands upon the Heart of Glass itself!  

They said they had noble intentions, claiming that the Heart must be some ancient piece of technology, and that if studied, perhaps it could be understood and replicated.  No more would the Shining Folk be confined to their Kingdom, instead they could travel and share their knowledge with others, experience the full breadth of creation.  And also, they said in hushed whispers, perhaps some of the advantages of the Heart could be replicated for their own people.  

It was this, perhaps most of all, that led to the need for the army to be re-established.  The Crystalline Kingdom had been isolated for so long, it had long ago been disbanded.  Even when the Fleshlings first found the Shining Folk again, it was believed that the constabulary would be sufficient to handle them.  After all, an individual Shining Folk was far stronger and tougher than any Fleshling.  Their blades and hammers did little damage and though it wasn't impossible for a Fleshling to injure or even shatter a Shining One, it was very unlikely.  

Yet the Fleshlings proved us wrong again.  They had not just tools of iron this time, but strange devices that produced terrible impacts through a black dust that exploded when touched by sparks.  

These new devices, firerods as they were first dubbed by an anonymous Shining One, enabled even small numbers of Fleshlings to pose a real danger to one of our people.  A Firerod can fire a small projectile at incredible speeds.  It is nearly impossible to dodge and cracks all but the hardest of Mirrorplate.  

Furthermore, the Fleshlings that were captured revealed the existence of 'cannon', a type of Firerod carried by a team of their burden-carriers and manned by a team of five or more.  These Firerods propel a massive projectile the size of a skull that can obliterate a Shining One in a single, devasting strike.  This alone proves what we've always feared has come to pass- the Fleshlings have advanced far more than we ever expected them to, while we remained still.  And now they've returned, and history will repeat itself once more...   

QHW, Day 13: Disaster

"This is a total disaster!"  Grimoire frowned at his manager, peering over the top of a glass bearing a very good, and pricey, Scotch.  Or at least, he assumed it was good.  This was the first time he had been able to find time for a drink in almost seven months and now it was being ruined.  "Ben, come on," he said.  "It's not that bad."  
    "You turned the Vice-President into a cockroach!"  
    "And then I turned him back."
Ben Shapiro, his overweight, balding manager in a suit worth more than what some African villages produce in a year paused his frantic pacing.  "Yes, it is!  You can't do that, especially in front of witnesses!  You've just put a massive target on your back."

Grimoire took a sip of the scotch.  It was good, to his delight, burning it's way through his throat down to his stomach, where it began to suffuse his body with a gentle warmth.  "I don't understand.  Everyone knew I was strong- I could fly, shoot lasers, create force shields and a few other things.  It's not like I was some street-tier chump."  Ben turned to him and rubbed his baldspot.  "Yeah, you were strong.  That's the point.  You were strong, but that was a fact.  You're precisely right."  He resumed his pacing, tracking back and forth, wearing out his three hundred dollar shoes.  "But those powers, they were known qualities.  The Secret Service felt that, should you lose it or have a psychotic break, they could stop you from turning the President inside out.  But then you did that!"

Ben gestured frantically to the widescreen TV squatting in the upper corner of the office, currently showing a feed of one of the more conservative news networks.  They were showing the clip of him facing off against Red Menace in the Rose Garden.  The latter was decked out in his chrome and vermillion armor, his shaved head adorned with an incoherent mishmash of tattoos ranging from Nazi iconography to Communist symbols to Occult and Religious markings, an Inverted Cross intersecting a Hammer and Sickle, which flowed into a pentacle and a Swatstika respectively.  The Vice-President, a silver-haired older gentleman, struggled in his grip.  Grimoire faced the both of them, black cape astir with astral wind, golden symbols flaring.  

Then a bolt of green light flew from his gauntlets.  It blasted the Veep, causing him to seemingly disappear in a flash of grasshopper green.  Red Menace frowned, confusion reigning, right before a streak of purple energy sent him flying backwards, plowing through a set of French Doors in a shower of broken glass and splintered wood.  

"You know, you were right about the gauntlets," Grimoire said.  He took another sip of whiskey.  "Those wands I carried really did look stupid.  These are much cooler, and don't make me look like a HP ripoff."  Ben blinked.  "What?"  Then, turning to look at his client, his face darkened.  "Could you at least pretend to take this seriously?  We need to talk about this."  
    "I'm pretty sure we don't."
    "Don't you want to go back to the Whitehouse?  What about the Inaugural Ball?  And how easy do you think it is going to be to get your contacts in Washington to go to bat for you when the Bureau starts poking around your finances!"  

Grimoire arched an eyebrow at his manager, then said a word in a language most humans couldn't pronounce.  Those that could would start bleeding from the nose or eyes if they tried.  The lights in the office flickered and the TV fuzzed, showing a haze of static.  A green bolt struck Ben, laying the manager out.  But what hit the ground was, instead of a balding, overweight man, was a yellow-cream tomcat.  The cat hissed in response and scrambled away, hiding behind the couch.  Grimoire put his feet up on the coffee table, watching the image on his TV return to normal.  "I'll give you a chance to cool off, Ben.  But I want you to understand, this isn't a problem.  All I did was teach the puppets where the real power is." 

QHW, Day 12: Domestication

The inhabitants of Terra Firma 177549-Aleph-Charlie were first discovered in the year 678 of the Yangu Millennium.  At first, our researchers concealed this information from the general public, at the behest of the security forces.  Their concerns were about contamination from an alien biosphere and atmosphere, potentially.  However, it is swiftly discovered that the biosphere, though bizarre and nonsensical based on our earliest observations, seemed to be fairly similar to our own.  The atmosphere was also ruled to be non-poisonous, though our respiratory systems could not consume their atmospheric mix with nearly the same level of efficiency, though simple filtration nodes were easily able to compensate. 

Once the initial risks were made known, a series of autonomous artificial devices were sent through to gather information on the biosphere of 177549-Aleph-Charlie.  These projects were collectively referred to as "Project Horizon".  Horizon got off to an excellent start at first, and the first images of a totally alien world were sent back to us within 27 hours.  But swiftly, we realized something bizarre.  Unlike many of the other worlds that we had investigated, we found this one not only supported life, which was only the case in approximately 43% of cases, but intelligent life as well, which was the case in only 3.5% of the aforementioned 43%. 

This intelligent species was dubbed Aleph-Charlie Sapient Self-Organizing Organisms, or simply Alphies.  Alphies were bipedal, with two manipulating limbs and a mobile head which also hosted the majority of their sensory organs, as well as their cognition center.  They were surprisingly hardy, capable of surviving severe damage to both the central, unsegmented body or to the extremities, even able to survive without or all appendages, as later determined by medical examination. 

Alphies were studied feverishly during those early days, with each subsequent expedition gaining many more questions than answers.  For instance, Alphies were intelligent, but lacked any other form of defense.  They were easily out-classed in terms of natural offensive options and durability by many of the more powerful species on their planet.  They had managed to become the dominant species of their planet, but it was clear that this was because of tool use and collective action.  This led to theories that perhaps Alphies were actually a formerly star-faring race that had become stranded on an alien planet, as in all prior cases the apex predator had been the one to first achieve sentience on all previously studied planets. 

  These organisms demonstrated a high degree of development, having cultivated and manipulated their planet to better support themselves.  They demonstrated impressive mastery of architecture, science and language.  Yet for all our observations, we found that unlike other sentient life we had encountered before, Alphies demonstrated no knowledge of the Universal Truths.  This was a clear failing on our part, as we had previously assumed that all sentient species had experienced and had a chance to embrace the Universal Truths. 

At this realization, our scientists submitted their report on the Alphies to the Executive Committee, along with a request for further instruction.  After some deliberation, the Executive Committee determined that it was necessary to immediately speak to the Alphies, and tasked me with the task of putting together a delegation to speak with their Central Hive and present them with knowledge of the Universal Truths and to return with their answer. 

- From the Memoirs of Decelia Ho'bra, Supreme Mediator of Cognition and Information

QHW, Day 11: Elves

Elves don't understand you.  Not really.  People talk about Elves are mysterious, capricious, inhuman, etc.  But the truth is, this ignorance is mutual.  Elves are known for their stiff, eccentric formality and that's because they are deeply uncomfortable around humans and other short-lived races.  Imagine walking into a monkey's enclosure at a zoo and trying to talk to these leaping, capering creatures.  It'd be a waste of time, even if they could understand you.

Part of this problem is context.  Elves have so much more context on, well, basically everything.  Young Elves aren't that much different than humans.  Regardless of their differences on a biological basis, a young Elf has only been around for twenty, thirty, fifty years.  They don't really know much more than a human would in that same span of time.  This is why humans believe that the Elven childhood lasts until 100.  This isn't really true.  An Elf is physically and mentally developed to an adult level at the same time a human is.  But a young Elf will always be surrounded by those who have been alive for vastly longer than them. 

An elderly Human can see the strapping youths strolling around his village and comment on their naivety.  These boys know nothing, he can tell himself.  And even if he advise them, they're just as likely to ignore his comments.  This is the same for Elves.  An Elf will spend the majority of his life dealing with people vastly more experienced than himself.

Young Elves prefer the company of humans for this reason.  They are easier to understand.  It is only when an Elf begins to age that he begins to grow strange and distant from the short-lived races. 

A young Elf might speak to some Humans who are planning to send settlers to an abandoned island and colonize this largely empty space.  He might think this is a great idea, even accounting for the risk of storms, starvation, diseases or any potential dangerous fauna.  But an older Elf will be aware of the fact that the Narzicans attempted the same thing 500 years ago and it led to the outbreak of a tropical disease that killed thousands before it eventually burned itself out.  But he knows that even if he warns the Humans of that, they might take precautions, but out of a love of glory or progress or nationalism or whatever ideal they prize, they will proceed onward.  And perhaps things will work out well this time.

Or perhaps they won't. 

So the Elf says nothing.  So next time you hear of the cruelty of the Elves, of their indifference towards the other races, consider where they stand.  Imagine explaining to a mayfly that it shouldn't enter it's cocoon, for when it emerges it will not have a mouth and will swiftly die afterward.  The mayfly, if it could speak, would simply insist that while that happened to other mayflies, it wouldn't happen to him. 

Then the mayfly would undergo the metamorphosis, die and the Elf would weep.  So the Elves say nothing, watching silently from their lofty tree-houses as civilizations rise and fall around them, the flow of progress and history like the tide, rising and falling at the behest of forces that few of the participants understand.   

Some Elves attempt to resist this tendency of Elves to withdraw.  They enter the short-lived societies and attempt to speak with and connect with each new generations, to remain connected to the present.  Many of these Elves will end up becoming pillars of the society.  The Kings of Bivanalo were advised by an Elven seamstress for six generations, each ruler gaining great insight from her mystical skill and incredible wisdom.  Yet like so many Elves, her heart could not bear the sadness forever.  After King Hissan died, she departed from the castle in her grief and returned to her own people, where friends and brothers did not age and change like the leaves on the trees.    

QHW, Day 10: 100 Uses of...

100 Uses for a Human Corpse:

1d100
1- Fertilizer.  Bury it for the tastiest vegetables you've ever tasted.  
2- Food.  That's 80 to 100,000 calories, depending on body size and type.  
3- Aphrodisiac.  The genitals of male humans and the internal reproductive organs of female humans can increase libido, fertility and sensitivity.  Consult a physician or spiritual advisor before ingestion.  
4- Weapons.  Human bone is harder than concrete, but far lighter.  It can easily resist torsion as well, which many metals cannot.  Additionally, it is easily enchanted and stores magic for far longer than any material, with the exception of gold.
5- Servants.  Humans, due to their internal network of mana circuits, can be easily animated by summoned souls.  All the fun of humans, without the hassle!
6- Hands!  Many of the elderly have problems grabbing small or delicate objects.  A human hand, wired up and connected to a length of wood, makes an easy tool that allows even the most infirm to easily grab objects.  
7- Memories.  Humans remember so many things.  Consumption of the brain is always ideal, but even the body can remember.  With the right knowledge, the muscles and veins can speak louder and more clearly than any deceitful ghost.  
8- Strings and wire.  Humans sinew and gristle can make excellent rope and cord.  
9- Incubators.  A living human is preferred, but for the environmentally conscious or thrifty, a human corpse can function as the perfect incubator for your eggs.  Just make sure they're due to hatch before the corpse turns to black sludge.  
10- Sin.  Humans, especially those who habitually engaged in vice, often have pockets of sin left in their bodies.  These can be harvested and turned into Demondust, which is sure to liven up any party.
11- Fat.  Corpse fat from humans can be used to make special candles which can reveal the presence of lost money or treasure, the presence of invaders and those who mean harm, or any number of other things.  
12- Prophecy.  If a corpse is fresh, you can disembowel it and look through the structures of the organs.  To the one with the proper training, these internal structures can often reveal hints of the future.  As above, so below.       
13- Blood.  Human blood, when thickened and left to cool and stew in a corpse, can become a potent toxin.  Dead man's blood is rightly feared.  
14- Protection.  Humans are impervious to many things that are terribly harmful.  Iron, silver, holy artifacts, silk, cottonseed, all these sear flesh and induce pain.  Human skin gloves and aprons can go a long way to alleviating the danger of working with those substances and preventing unnecessary risk.
15- Songs.  Human bones, when made into wind instruments, produce eerie notes that can reveal the presence of the dead or summon them back to this world.  
16- Screams.  Human corpses rarely speak, for their Magi take the tongue when they bring it back, sometimes literally.  But give a reanimated human his tongue back and he will regale you will horrific screams of pain, rage and despair.  Perfect for entertainment or soothing the children.  

QHW, Day 9: In-game Bestiary

 An interrogation of the intellectual travesty wrought about by Vickelstein upon the Humble Bullywug:

Vickelstein is a well-respected scholar, considered "The people's intellectual" by some, and a common source of the patronage of the Merchant Princes.  I am here to expose him for what he is, a fraudulent intellectual revolutionary, too weakened by his own self-inflicted neuroses to do any proper accounting of the events he describes.  And nothing could explain this better than his account of the Froglings, or the Bullywugs, as he refers to them.

"The Bullywugs are a race known for their cleverness and inventiveness, despite their relative lack of technology.  They live in small huts perfectly designed for their swampy homes, collapsible structures that are cozy and waterproof, easily able to be disassembled and put back together after being moved.  They have no metal, except what they can find."

Here Vickelstein begins one of his classic tactics, glorifying the primitive and the savage, elevating it over the civilized.  Vickelstein never once stops to carry this thought of his further.  If he loves the primitive so much, why does he go out of his way to avoid it so much?  Vickelstein is a scholar who almost exclusively spends his times with other academics and those of the gentle classes, who do not need to dirty their hands with labor.  This is as far from the brutal, short and nasty lives the Bullywugs or any other savage race lives, where life is a matter of scraping in the mud for subsidence and death is never far way.  

Instead, Vickelstein does this not to promote the actual idea of primitivism, or even pastoralism, but as an attack on those who he dislikes.  He further goes on to say:

"Unlike in more, developed, societies, for lack of a better word, the Bullywugs do not engage in commerce.  Instead they live among each other in harmony.  Each tribe acts as an extended family, giving to each other so that all needs are met.  None go hungry within these tribes, and all are cared for."

Vickelstein is not as clever as he seems.  He praises the lack of hunger and the unity of the Bullywug tribe, but he fails to note the greater context.  The Bullywugs do this because of social pressure and mutual interest, not because the primitive conditions create better men.  He seems to imply that you would be better off living in a tribe of swamp-dwelling hunter-gathers, but that is a ludicrous position to take, so Vickelstein merely implies it.  You look to those who are hungry on your street and wonder, "Why doesn't someone do something?"  Yet you should ask, "Why don't I do something?"  

Vickelstein has by-passed the question of personal responsibility in favor of creating a utopia out of his own fancies.  This is, again, an attack on civilization, specifically, ours.  He fails to mention the fact that should one Bullywug within the tribe go hungry or sick, it weakens the tribe.  And a weakened tribe will be gobbled up by a stronger one, or pushed into less desirable hunting grounds and left to languish into starvation and deprivation, which will only invite more attacks.  

He does not mention the Bullywug habit of destroying the clutches of eggs laid by females from rival tribes, the kidnapping of said females, or the cannibalism of captured warriors or any of the other countless brutalities that threaten the Bullywug.  

He does, however, mention their lack of marriage. 

"In Bullywug society, there is no need for marriage.  Instead, females are given the right to pursue any male of their choosing, even multiple males.  For access to her, all the males will couple with her and help her to raise her tadpoles when they are born.  It only makes sense that a female would, if given the option, choose multiple males instead of one.  Why not have the best warrior, hunter and story-teller instead of just one?"

Firstly, this is utter nonsense.  Any scholar worth his salt knows well enough that Bullywugs practice 'marriage' via kidnapping and rigidly enforce female chastity, to the point of scarring females and killing males who practice such crimes.  

I am unsure of how he arrived at this conclusion, but I suspect it has something to do with the rumors that Vickelstein was, let's say, indiscrete in his visitations of a young woman who was traveling with his research party while he went on his trip to study the Bullywugs, despite the fact that he was married at the time.  I will not repeat the sordid details here, there are publications where you can find such things, just know that there was probably much more on his mind than the behavior of this small tribe of Froglings over those six months in the Favan Bogs.   

QHW, Day 8: Beverages

In 1527, the Brewer's Guild of the City of Burkinsaw was charged with the crime of poisoning.  Their victim was 127 people from the town itself, most tavern-goers and barkeepers, as well as others who sold or consumed alcohol.  The victims in questions suffered from a variety of strange magical effects.  

Some, even those who only consumed a small amount of alcohol, found themselves drunk for hours or days, even after only a few drinks.  Others found that parts of their body developed strange qualities, such as acting like alcohol or another liquid.  When angered, these poor individuals found their skin would bubble and pop like boiling water, or when they relaxed, their appendages would start to liquefy and drip off.  

Still others developed more obvious physical deformities.  Some grew thick tentacles that burst from joints, or had their existing limbs transformed into those of crustaceans or other arthropods.  One particularly bad case was Hammond Fletcher, who had both of his hands transformed into lobster claws.  He demanded that the Brewers be persecuted for their crimes, as without his hands, he would be unable to continue his usual trade, as his claws lacked the dexterity of his previous, human digits.  

These changes were all traced back to ten barrels of ale, each one found to have been produced within one particular tank within one of their breweries.  After the Brewmaster and his assistants were interrogated, they revealed that the Guild's leadership had an arrangement with the Alchemist's Guild, lending their oversized equipment to them to allow the Alchemists to brew enormous quantities of specific potions.  

In exchange for this, the Brewer's Guild was paid a fee and given discounts on purchases of certain types of potions, such as energy potions and potions of alertness, as well as memory potions and potions of telepathy.  Apparently, these were all used to increase safety and productivity, as they enabled employees to work longer hours with fewer mistakes, as well as to remember complex formula and instructions and communicate more easily, without the need to ferry messages to any of the other buildings or brewers located around Burkinsaw.  

The accused's council argued that while unethical, nothing they did was explicitly illegal.  Furthermore, they argued that the actions they undertook were common, with the Alchemist's Guild coming once or twice a month usually, sometimes even more often than that.  There had never before been any failures or similar incidents before this one, so the Guildmaster and other leaders of the Guild would have no reason to assume such a thing was even possible.  As such, their was no reason to hold them responsible.  

The Magistrate evidently did not agree, or perhaps he simply feared the potentially violent reaction of the mobs that had gathered outside the courthouse for most days of the trial.  So he levied stiff fines against the Brewer's Guild and demanded that everyone who suffered a permanent magical affliction be paid a sum of 30 gold sovereigns.  Those who suffered temporary magical effects were to be given a smaller sum of 15 silver sovereigns.  

This generous response nearly bankrupted the Brewer's Guild and almost led to it's dissolution.  And while it was called excessive by some, it did seem to prevent most of the violence.  Only a few Brewers were attacked in the aftermath of the trial and while there was an attack on one of the breweries, it was swiftly repelled by the workers and the damage to the building was minimal.          

QHW, Day 7: Orcs

Orcs, as is well known, are the children of Gruumsh, God of Slaughter and Victory, and Luthic, Goddess of Mothers, Fertility and Plague.  Gruumsh, also called One-Eye, is usually portrayed as a massive Orc in a loincloth and cape of dripping crimson, with the occasional bit of bone armor and jewelry.  He wears an eyepatch or has an empty eye-socket, depending on the artist, and is usually depicted as holding a weapon across some sort of enemy.  The Orcs claim that he is the leader of all Orcs because he proved himself the strongest of their kind, and that strength granted him the right to rule over them.  Perhaps one day, someone will defeat Gruumsh, and this will grant them the right to become the new God of the Orcs.

Luthic, being female, does not need to compete in the masculine games of power.  Some female Orcs do attempt to compete in these masculine games, but they are generally not very successful. In the past, these girls were called the Daughters of One-Eye or less flattering nicknames, but more recently they have embraced such names. 

However, most female Orcs adhere closer to Luthic's example.  Luthic grants her husband the freedom to engage in honorable pursuits while busying herself with the messier side of existence that males are ill-suited for.  Female Orcs handle commerce and the busy-work of keeping their society running.  If the tribe survives by hunting, females clean and cook the game.  If they survive by farming, most of the work is done by them.  Males will assist, but only when masked and wearing dresses, so that their masculine honor is not harmed.  Female Orcs devote themselves to worldly matters, as unlike males, they were made from Luthic's blood and the mud on the hem of her dress. 

Male Orcs, on the other hand, devote themselves to spiritual matters, as they were created from Gruumsh's blood and the fragments of his dreams that escaped after he lost his eye.  Orc men devote themselves to higher ideals, such as honor, glory and victory, as well as to the veneration and praising of the Gods. 

This gendered split is profound and rarely breached, extending to the smallest things.  Male Orcs cannot read, and take pride in the fact.  Reading and writing are women's work.  To share information, Male Orcs memorize large amounts of information and repeat them back to each other.  The most important masculine works are memorized and held by a Tribe's Goran, Shaman or Priests. 

Similarly, all masculine Art among Orcs is epheremal and temporary.  Orc males create works of art out of multi-colored sand and let them blow away, meditating on the temporary nature of worldly things.  They perform plays, dance and sing.  Females make other forms of Art, namely sculpture, painting and drawing.

Orc children are raised by their mothers until they are seven years old.  Until then, they are permitted to go where they wish and do as they please.  To ensure a proud warrior spirit is created in each child, children are taken from their mothers and given to different women to raise, preferrably in another chest.  Women end up raising a child who is not their own.  

Furthermore, they are encouraged not to show affection to the child, as this displeases Gruumsh.  If you love your child too much, he will be cursed with weaknesses such as compassion and mercy later in life, which will only make it more likely that he will suffer and die.  As such, they are cruel and cold toward their offspring, so that their love might be apparent.         

QHW, Day 6: Classes

The Social Classes are often rebuked and scoffed at by revolutionaries, despite it's unique and omnipresent proofs.  These folk claim that all the self-evident evidences of differences between the Nobility and the Commons are nothing more than the effects of better nutrition, upbringing and medicine.  In doing so they commit a great heresy against God but worse still, they promote the Great Lie: The Equality of Man.

These men, by claiming that the Noble and the Common are the same have led to enormous amounts of suffering.  Because of them, blood runs in the streets and screams fill the air.  They have spawned famine and plague through their arrogance and hatred.  They claim to want to help the Commons, yet insist on crushing them under heel and worsening their conditions, stealing what little they have and denying them their ancient rights, as granted by the benevolence of the Nobles.  

They refuse to acknowledge the truth plainly visible- were you to see a Noble and a Common standing next to each other, you would find that they were similar in many ways, yes, but they were also quite different.  The Noble would be taller and would have have either hair or eyes of a unique color.  While some colors, such as red or blonde, do occasionally occur in the Commons, usually as a result of some distant Noble ancestor, no Common has ever had hair that was white, except in old age.  Nor have they had hair that was teal or purple or even bright green.  

They do not have eyes of wine-violet, or blue, cherry-red or pink, or gold and silver.  They do not grow as tall or as handsome, though I have met more than a few comely farmer's daughters.  Yet to compare them to the Noblewomen is to put a racing hound up against a leopard.  It is an unfair comparison, when not just nonsensical.

And even among those Nobles who are not beautiful, the ultimate truth of their divine right to rule is their command of the Mysteries.  By speaking the right words, Nobles can control the elements.  They bring light to the darkness, conjure fire and snow from thin air, make food from refuse and stone and heal grievous injuries.  The only Commons who can wield the power of the arcane are those who have some Noble blood flowing within their veins, usually within 6 generations of their birth.  Anymore and the blood is too diluted to lend any power.  

And this is the case for all Nobles.  Even the lowliest of the Nobles can command arcane power, even if it's only in some minor way.  This separates them inexorably, no matter what the revolutionaries say.  This is most emphasized in the name of the Kings, who are heralded by miracles and great wonders.  At the coronation of Robert III, God's blessings on him and his name, a blind man was gifted his sight to see his Sovereign for the first time, while three pregnant women gave birth simultaneously to three healthy, identical children born with eyes the same color as the Sovereign, bright green.

Rumors of the Nobility electing one of their own to the throne and faking these miracles through sorcery is, of course, to be considered propaganda and lies.   

QHW, Day 5: Traps

Traps should either be A) very dangerous, so players know to be careful, but also uncommon; or B) very common, so players know to be careful, but not so dangerous. 

Examples of Type A:

The Green Demon Face in Tomb of Horrors is a good example of Type A:

A giant, evil-looking Demon Face with an open mouth that leads to a section of absolute darkness.  Right behind the mouth is a sphere of annihilation.  If the players go into the mouth, they are obliterated and die, along with anything in the mouth.

Now, this isn't a trap, per say, but it is a good indication of what kind of dungeon that you're entering.  The Tomb is not messing around.  If you screw around, you will die. 

An example of Type B:

The Tomb of the Serpent Kings is an RPG module written by Skerples (of Coins and Scrolls) and it functions as a tutorial dungeon, meant to instruct players on how to do an OSR dungeon crawl.  One of the first areas of the dungeon features a hammer trap that, if the player's aren't careful, will smash into them and do significant damage, but probably won't kill them, barring truly bad luck.  This is intended explicitly as warning and a lesson- be careful of traps, they are dangerous.

The hammer trap repeats later in the dungeon, but the second time, it is far more dangerous.  Hopefully the players were paying attention earlier, otherwise, someone's character might end up splattered. 

Some Type A Traps:

1d3
1- A set of saw-blades that are concealed in the walls.  Trigger the pressure plates and they shoot out, one at knee-level, the other at mid-chest level.  If you trigger the pressure plate, save or die.  On a successful save, you take oodles of damage.  Those who fail their saves are slashed into convenient, bite-sized pieces.  The hall is littered with bifurcated skeletons, just in case the players don't get the hint. 
2- An Indiana Jones style boulder.  When triggered, it rolls down the narrow hallway, crushing anything in it's path.  You can't save to avoid it, you need to become something that can't be crushed or somehow stop the boulder.  This one might function better as a puzzle.
3- A door rigged with poison gas.  Fail to pick the lock or use the key and it dispenses a cloud of poison gas through the vents in the door.  Save or take some large amount of poison damage, plus be sickened for 1d4 hours.  This gives disadvantages on Attacks and certain saving throws. 

Some Type B Traps:

1d4
1- A hallway with concealed dart launchers hidden in the walls.  You hit the trip-wire and it showers you with darts.  The darts do 2d6 damage, save for half, but you get advantage on the save if you have a shield.  Alternatively, the darts do DEX damage and paralyze someone if their DEX is reduced to 0 DEX.
2- A pit trap.  If you step on it, you fall into a deep pit that is too deep to climb out of.  Spikes at the bottom, smeared in poison or filth, are optional.  Not that dangerous, if there are not spikes, but still can prevent progress.
3- A Mimic.  Mimics aren't that dangerous, but can be really annoying.  High-level players are only going to be inconvenienced by them, though once you introduce the idea that Mimics are nearby, your players will become extremely cautious.
4- A bucket of acid set above a door, college prank style.  The only difference is that instead of getting wet and saying "Very funny", your flesh begins to dissolve! 

Things a good Murderhobo Adventurer never leaves home without:

1d4
1- Length of Rope or Wire
2- Caltrops
3- A folding shovel
4- Grease.     

QHW, Day 4: Magical Laws

The "Laws of Magic" are an attempt by Magi to explain the inexplicable and incalculable forces that underpin our fragile universe.  The fact that they are few in number and often disputed proves to most onlookers the obvious truth- the Magi are not nearly as powerful or knowledgable as they think. 

Even the most skilled Archmagus can, upon occasion, have a spell explode in his face.  Meanwhile, lowly novices might produce harmless showers of sparks, or they could work miracles to shame and befuddle their intellectual and sorcerous superiors.  Magic, as a product of the spiritual realm, does not obey the normal physical laws of our reality.  This is an obvious truth, yet it bears repeating.  Attempts to quantify and understand it are pointless- for it defies such classifications. 

A common parable taught to Initiates into schools of Sorcery is "Dragons cannot fly".  This is truth.  Dragons are far too heavy and unwieldly to fly.  Yet if you've ever seen one, you know, in fact, that Dragons do fly.  There are various explanations for this.  Some say that Dragons use their innate control over fire to heat the air underneath them, producing lift.  Others say that they use their power to lessen the pull of Earth on their bodies- weakening the phenomena known as "Gravity".  Others say they use magic to make their bodies lighter. 

But again, this proves my point.  The Dragon flies.  How it does so is less important than the fact it does. 

Yet for all my dismissal of the term, there are certain laws of magic that are (nearly) universal and important to know. 

Firstly, what we call Magic is the natural energy of the universe transmitted through the minds of living creatures, converted into the substance that becomes souls, dreams and ideas.  This transmutation is the source of all Magical energy.  It is a mistake to believe Magi use their own energies to perform sorcery, as Magi are mere mortals like us.  Instead, a Magi's "Strength" comes from their ability to absorb this natural energy and transmute it into a spiritual form, then to manipulate it into doing what they wish. 

Some Magi are very good at the former, but are bad at the latter.  This is a hazardous combination, as having a lot of energy but not being able to safely handle it rarely ends well.  The opposite situation, having little ability to transmute energy but high skill at manipulating it.  This is a much more useful combination, as it is possible to increase one's Capacity through the use of pacts, artificial protheses and the assistance of other Magi.

Secondly, all of what we call 'Magic' requires energy.  Regardless of the source it is drawn from, whether it be from the blood and sorrow drawn from a murdered sacrifice, the raging natural energy coursing through the stones of the Earth in the form of earthquakes and geologic activity, or the blinding light and heat of the Sun, sorcery requires a source of power to be anything besides a bunch of nonsense words and gestures. 

Thirdly, all Magic requires the ability to focus the mind.  This is why incantations and those gestures are necessary.  When you have to remember five hand-signs and say certain phrases, it is harder to imagine what would happen if the fireball you're trying to conjure actually appeared inside your stomach.  Some Magi can use magic just by thinking, but this is hazardous as stray thoughts can easily turn a simple spell deadly. 

All laws beyond this are subject to wild hearsay and speculation on behalf of the Magi in question.     

QHW, Day 3: Magitek

Welcome to Whizkid Technology and Entertainment, Inc. a Fortune 500 company.  Did you know that we've been rated #1 for customer and employee satisfaction for three straight years?  As such, now that you've joined our corporate family, be sure to familiarize yourself with all safety procedures and protocol.  Failure to follow safety protocols can lead to strict penalties, including but not limited to financial penalties, unpaid leave, administrative review and immediate termination.

As you know, our world has recently been transformed through the use of Fabrials, devices that harvest and channel extra-dimensional power, as accessed through the Primary Interdimensional Junction, better known as the Rift.

Whizkid Technology and Entertainment, Inc. manufacture and process many of these Fabrials.  Here at Whizkid, we categorize Fabrials into 5 helpful categories: Reliable, Stable, Capricious Reactive and Volatile.

Reliable Fabrials almost always do exactly what they are supposed to do.  Additional effects or magical discharge is largely non-existent.  Additionally, damaging such Fabrials generally only disables the device.  Most mass market Fabrials, such as Pen-Pairs and Self-Cleaning Clothes, are Reliable. 

Stable Fabrials usually do what they are supposed to do.  They can produce magical discharge or cause other effects, but these are usually mild or temporary.  Damaging such Fabrials is not advised and can cause larger versions of discharge effects, or extend their duration.  Still, such effects usually aren't hazardous.  Example Fabrials of this type are Self-Heating Pans and Automatic Ovens. 

Capricious Fabrials are devices that do what they are told to occasionally, but unless operated with sensitivity and skill, can easily become dangerous.  Damaging such Fabrials can easily lead to a dangerous situation.  Most Capricious Fabrials require specific modifications to the home or special licenses to be owned by civilians.  Examples of such devices include Talking Wardrobes and Seeing Eyes.

Reactive Fabrials are devices that are very sensitive to outside effects and can very easily do damage to their environment or user if not handled correctly.  Damaging such Fabrials almost always causes whatever effect the Fabrial is supposed to generate to fly out of control.  Magical discharge and additional effects are expected with Reactive Fabrials.  Most devices of this type are used only in manufacturing or by trained professionals.  It is not advised to attempt to operate a Reactive Fabrial without proper authorization, credentials and safety equipment.  Examples of such Fabrials include Lightning Channelers, Walking Furnaces and Corpse-Disposal Boxes. 

Volatile Fabrials are devices that cause violent, often uncontrollable effects, usually in the form of violent chain reactions.  Magical discharge and additional effects are extremely common from Volatile Fabrials.  Only those with government authorization or special licenses are permitted to own, operate or work with Volatile Fabrials.  Generally they are only employed for tasks that are too difficult or impractical to do otherwise, such as the smelting and forging of Promethium or Stormplate.  They are never to be viewed as safe or under control and strict safety measures are to be obeyed at all times when around a Volatile Fabrial.

And that's the basics of Fabrial Classification!  We here at Whizkid Technology and Entertainment, Inc. hope you found this discussion illuminating.  We hope you'll follow all protocols outlined in this manual.  Thank you for practicing Good Safety Practices and for helping us put A Spin on Life! 

QHW, Day 2: Villains

The following is an excerpt from an Undernet forum that was improperly purged.  It is suspected that 'VX' in this case is a shortened version of Venomous Xavier, one of the handles for the entity known as Jake Irvin Mitchell, #17 on the AIR List (Apprehend, Interrogate, Release) and #5 on the BOLO list (Be on the Lookout).  

If found, Mitchell is to not be harmed.  He is suspected to have vital information on the current status of the Sons of Freedom and the Brothers of the Rapture and is to be considered an asset.  Thus is the will of Emperor and the Oversight Committee.

Excerpt Begins:

KS: How do we know we're not the villains of this story?  
KS: Everyone thinks that they're the heroes, the protagonists, but what if we're not?

LN: *think's

VX: Lol, retarded moralf*gg*try detected

KS: It's not, that.  This is a legitimate question.

VX: Okay, r*t*rd

KS: And why are you doing that?  Is this forum censored?  

VX: No, of course not, you f*ck*ng idiot.  Everyone here is considered a person-non-grata, at best

LN: *persona-non-gracia

VX: We're all likely to end up as prey to the Gods.  So no, nobody gives a d*mn about mean words.

KS: Why do you dismiss me?  You even refer to them as Gods.  What's the problem?  Weren't they here first?

TB: I'm also confused.  Isn't it a debate worth having?

VX: No, it's not you drunken f*ck*ng sp*st*cs.  The actions of my ancestors have nothing to do with me.  
VX: Sure, they might have culled most of the indigenous inhabitants of this pathetic blue mudball, but how is that my problem?

TB: So you don't call them Gods out of respect?

VX: I always respect my enemy, even if I hate them.  You'd be stupid not to, especially with this enemy.  

BoT: Web-Crawlers have pinged us.  Countdown to shut-down and data purge is imminent.  Current Time till Purge: 5:00.

VX: Sh*t, they're getting faster.

TB: Data purge?  What does that mean?

VX: It means everything is about to go to h*ll in a handbasket.  Save everything you think you might need.  

KS: So I guess I'm not getting an answer.  

VX: It's not your fault.  We might be considered the villains of this tale, but that's okay.  The villains are always cooler, sexier and more interesting than the heroes, anyway.

KS: This isn't a story.

VX: Good.  Because in a story, the villain usually gets their sh*t shoved in by the end of it.  The hero always wins.  
VX: Not here.  Here, the "bad guys" can win.  
VX: Besides, the humans had it coming.

Excerpt Ends

QHW, Day 1: Art

I'm doing Red Kangaroo's challenge for June.  You can read more about it here, but essentially, you use the generator at the end of that post to gain a prompt and then write about it for fifteen parts.  Then post what you made.

      -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dwarves are said to be incapable of Art.  This is a common theme you'll here repeated in stories about them.  "Dwarves are too practical," you'll here them say.  "They only care for what works."  And to an extent, this is true.  Dwarves are an imminently practical people.  Unlike the flighty and mysterious Elves, with all their imagination and cruelty, Dwarves are solid and reliable.  It is said that Dwarves cannot break their oaths, so rigid are they. 

This is another thing about Dwarves that you will find is not true.  It's just that Dwarves take honor so seriously that most Dwarves would rather die than forswear an oath. 

Dwarves are also known to be hard-workers.  They are said to make the best slaves, as a Dwarven slave can work longer and harder than most other races.  They can also consume things that humans would find unpalatable or toxic.  Just don't make a Dwarf cook for you.  Unless the Dwarf is familiar with humans, he might add some poisonous mushrooms to the stew "for taste" and accidentally kill you.  He might not have even meant to do it.  But more than a few Dwarven slaves have escaped this way, then claimed ignorance of the fact that humans could not consume that specific root or herb.   

This is a lie.  And that's the thing about lying.  It's not a matter of science.  Lying is an Art, and one Dwarves are quite good at.  Even with magic that can detect falsehoods, such abilities are limited.  This is because truth, at least as far as mortal beings are concerned, is a matter of perspective.  Only Gods and Angels deal in absolutes.  

And part of the reason why Dwarves are such good liars is because no one expects them to lie.  Dwarves have a reputation for being dull, hard-working and honorable.  They work hard, pray, and go to sleep.  They do not properly worship the Authority, but instead a muddied mix of their own ancient religion and Hesayanism. 

That being said, it is rare that people find themselves angry to have Dwarves as neighbors.  They do not wage war nor engage in meaningless saber-rattling.  They will defend their hovels diligently, but they do not seem to even have much worth stealing.  They will sell you things, plain swords and unadorned mail, cut timber and glassware, if you ask.  But their products lack any form of artistic spark or inner life.  They seem to only make things that have any form of function. 

This also reflects in the way they dress.  Dwarves seem to only wear the colors white, brown and black.  Each color corresponds to a type of person in society, with bright colors only permitted on special occasions.  Dwarven women are said to be extremely plain, shaving their heads and never wearing any form of make-up or clothing that accentuates their features.  Some even disguise themselves as men when traveling.

But there are many stories about Dwarves, also told by ignorant peasants.  These contain fanciful tales of huge underground cities concealed in the mountains or in deep caves, far from the light of the sun.  These cities are built of jewels and carved stone, and each one is said to contain more wealth and beauty than the greatest of human cities.  There Dwarves wear only cloth-of-gold, as they are so rich, they could not spend it all.  

Down there, in the dark, the Dwarves scoff at us men.  They think us stupid, for we have only found the tiny remnant that they left behind on the surface, a decoy to distract us from their true dwelling places.  It is said that those who discover their cities without permission are killed, and any who escape are dismissed as liars by the Dwarves on the surface.  And most often, those people are dismissed as mad. 

After all, is it even possible for a Dwarf to lie?