Tuesday, June 28, 2022

QHW, Day 10: 100 Uses of...

100 Uses for a Human Corpse:


1- Fertilizer.  Bury it for the tastiest vegetables you've ever tasted.  
2- Food.  That's 80 to 100,000 calories, depending on body size and type.  
3- Aphrodisiac.  The genitals of male humans and the internal reproductive organs of female humans can increase libido, fertility and sensitivity.  Consult a physician or spiritual advisor before ingestion.  
4- Weapons.  Human bone is harder than concrete, but far lighter.  It can easily resist torsion as well, which many metals cannot.  Additionally, it is easily enchanted and stores magic for far longer than any material, with the exception of gold.
5- Servants.  Humans, due to their internal network of mana circuits, can be easily animated by summoned souls.  All the fun of humans, without the hassle!
6- Hands!  Many of the elderly have problems grabbing small or delicate objects.  A human hand, wired up and connected to a length of wood, makes an easy tool that allows even the most infirm to easily grab objects.  
7- Memories.  Humans remember so many things.  Consumption of the brain is always ideal, but even the body can remember.  With the right knowledge, the muscles and veins can speak louder and more clearly than any deceitful ghost.  
8- Strings and wire.  Humans sinew and gristle can make excellent rope and cord.  
9- Incubators.  A living human is preferred, but for the environmentally conscious or thrifty, a human corpse can function as the perfect incubator for your eggs.  Just make sure they're due to hatch before the corpse turns to black sludge.  
10- Sin.  Humans, especially those who habitually engaged in vice, often have pockets of sin left in their bodies.  These can be harvested and turned into Demondust, which is sure to liven up any party.
11- Fat.  Corpse fat from humans can be used to make special candles which can reveal the presence of lost money or treasure, the presence of invaders and those who mean harm, or any number of other things.  
12- Prophecy.  If a corpse is fresh, you can disembowel it and look through the structures of the organs.  To the one with the proper training, these internal structures can often reveal hints of the future.  As above, so below.       
13- Blood.  Human blood, when thickened and left to cool and stew in a corpse, can become a potent toxin.  Dead man's blood is rightly feared.  
14- Protection.  Humans are impervious to many things that are terribly harmful.  Iron, silver, holy artifacts, silk, cottonseed, all these sear flesh and induce pain.  Human skin gloves and aprons can go a long way to alleviating the danger of working with those substances and preventing unnecessary risk.
15- Songs.  Human bones, when made into wind instruments, produce eerie notes that can reveal the presence of the dead or summon them back to this world.  
16- Screams.  Human corpses rarely speak, for their Magi take the tongue when they bring it back, sometimes literally.  But give a reanimated human his tongue back and he will regale you will horrific screams of pain, rage and despair.  Perfect for entertainment or soothing the children.  

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