Friday, July 15, 2022

OSR: Race-as-Class: Elf Chaos table

I meant to include this in the initial post, but then I got carried away.  My bad. 

by Leirix

If you roll doubles on your MD, roll on this table. 

1- You lose your next action as you puke up a pool of glittering silver liquid that acts as mirror.  Anyone who touches it will find it functions as temporary portal to the Mirror World.  It disappears after 1d10 minutes. 
2- All flowers and plants nearby begin spraying pollen everywhere.  All creatures within 100' must save or start violently sneezing, losing their action if they did so.  Creatures without noses or the need to breathe automatically pass. 
3- The Sun suddenly begins shining much brighter than normal, forcing all creatures within 100' to save.  On a failed save, those creatures are blinded for 10 minutes, or until they can spend some time in darkness.  All darkness effects are dispelled and all Undead take an additional +1d6 damage from the sunlight. 
4- A swarm of butterflies emerge from the nearby underbrush and begin following you for 1d10 minutes.  As they surround you, this gives you disadvantage on dodging or making ranged attacks and reveals your presence to any nearby. 
5- All fruit-bearing plants suddenly grow at an accelerated rate, producing and then dropping an enormous amount of fruit in seconds.  This fruit is non-magical, but it contains natural alcohol and makes anyone who eats it become intoxicated, as if they were drinking. 
6- All mirrors and reflective surfaces within 50' suddenly disgorge a copy of you.  These copies are independent of you and do not obey you nor anyone else.  They are currently interested in 1d6 [1= Having sex with anything that moves, including each other; 2= Stealing everything shiny or pretty; 3= Eating and drinking; 4= Dancing and playing music; 5= Insulting people and playing pranks; 6= Playing games, such as tag or hide 'n' seek.]  The reflections last for 1d10 hours or until they take 1 point of damage, which causes them to disappear into a cloud of bubbles.
7- All non-alcoholic liquids within 50' become alcohol for 1d10 hours.  All alcoholic beverages become screams. 
8- An enormous flower grows out of the ground within 30' of the Elf.  All who see this flower must save or be enchanted by it.  Those who fail their save will want to do nothing more than stand around and admire the flower, praising it to anyone who looks at it.  This charm effect lasts for 1d6 hours, after which it ends and everyone feels vaguely silly for having done that. If the flower is destroyed while it is still charming people, those people will weep and mourn the flower for the remaining time.
9- A large animal appears nearby.  This animal, a 1d4 [1= Moose; 2= Elk; 3= Warthog; 4= Bear] will follow you around for 1d10 days or until it is killed.  It will remain near you for the duration.  This animal wants, more than anything else, 1d4 [1= Belly rubs and headpats; 2= Food; 3= To be comforted by you; 4= To follow you wherever you go.]  After the duration, the animal disappears, along with any sign it was ever there. 
10- A group of pixies appear in a shower of glitter and scatter into the underbrush.  For the next 1d10+1 days, they will prank you.  They will prank you no more than once a day, unless you offend or harm them, in which case they will prank you more frequently and more viciously.  A normal Faerie prank is "Replace your weapons with identical replicas made of harmless candy during the night" while a vicious Faerie prank is "Turn your friends into hungry alligators while they're asleep and fill your underwear with raw meat".  The Pixies stay for the duration or until you convince them there is someone even more fun to prank.

by nenil âr lútphen

If you roll triples on your MD, roll on this table. 

1- You vomit up a seed.  If planted, this seed produces 1d4 [1= A giant beanstalk that grows up into the Upper Air; 2= A tree that produces golden plums that boost fertility and libido while lowering inhibitions and common sense; 3= A green child that grows up to look exactly like the Elf's last sexual partner, or if the Elf is a virgin, him or herself.  The copy ages at an accelerated rate, aging 1 year per day until it dies at the age of 20; 4= A rosebush that produces extremely toxic roses, with poison dripping off their long thorns.]  If the seed is eaten, it nourishes the creature for 1 day, as if they ate a full meal. 
2- You lose your action and scream in pain as a mark appears on your face.  A local predator has been offended by your actions and will now hunt you.  You will be pursued by this predator for 1d10+10 days or until one of you is dead. 
3- A rainbow appears overhead, flooding the local area with dazzling light.  All within 100' must save or be captured by the rainbow.  Those who fail their save are taken up by the rainbow light.  They reappear 1d4 [1= In 1d10 minutes, totally naked and stripped of all possessions; 2= Confused with no memories of the rainbow or the last 10 days, in a different part of the world (you will run into each other if not all were taken); 3= In the next abandoned building you find, having aged 1d20 years and escorting a child with crystalline eyes; 4= The next time you enter a tavern, except they have no memory of ever having met any of you.]  
4- All liquids within 50' turn to non-precious crystals that match their colors- water becomes white or blue quartz, wine becomes rose quartz, etc. 
5- A woman appears with a baby and claims that she got pregnant after having sex with you in a dream.  This baby is yours.  She demands you do something about it.  She can't be persuaded otherwise on the fact that this is the Elf's child, no matter what evidence you present.  She is also adamant that the child is yours.  Is it?  1d3 [1= Definitely, somehow; 2= Possibly; 3= Not a chance.]  Secretly, the woman is a 1d4 [1= 1 HD Commoner with no special abilities; 2= Another Elf (Level 1d6) in disguise; 3= One of the Faerie Queens; 4= She seems to be a normal human commoner, but if she takes even one point of damage, she disappears, leaving behind the child and her clothing.]
6- A clock made of brass and varnished wood appears near the Elf.  It is heavy, fragile and very expensive.  If the clock ever stops ticking, the Elf knows that he will die.  Is this true? 1d2 [1= Yes; 2= No.]  The clock remains for 1d10 days, after which it disappears.
7- A long table, overflowing with cookies, biscuits, bread, jam and tea appears nearby.  Sitting at the table are a number of strange creatures, including animals wearing human clothing, a few other Elves and the Black Rabbit.  The Rabbit chastises the Elf for being late.  All within 100' who hear this exclamation must save.  Those who fail their save will join the Rabbit for tea and polite conversation.  The tea party lasts for 1 hour.  If anyone attempts to interrupt it or engages in an act of severe rudeness, the Rabbit will turn that person into a vegetable. After the party ends and the Rabbit and his guests leave, those who were transformed must save.  On a failed save, they remain as vegetables forever.  On a success, they revert to normal.
8- Ethereal music fills the area around the Elf for 100'.  All who can hear the music must save.  Those who fail their saves immediately begin 1d4 [1= Having sex with anything living nearby; 2= Dancing and hugging each other; 3= Begin worshiping a nearby rock or flower; 4= Decide that violence isn't the answer and decide to arrange a peace treaty through a wedding.  If two groups are in conflict, then each group will select one member to marry another.  Regardless of the pick, it is always stupid and nonsensical.]
9- Two maidens appear before the Elf wearing gleaming white robes.  One holds a beautiful looking peach, the other a sword.  The one with the peach promises immortality, the latter a sudden and violent death.  They demand the Elf choose between one or the other.  If anyone eats the peach, they transform into a peach tree.  Anyone who eats one of the peaches from that tree will know their story and be filled with a sense of gratitude for that person's sacrifice, as the peaches taste amazing.  If anyone chooses the sword, they will be given a magic sword, elevated to a high political rank in a neighboring government and then die heroically in battle.  This will happen as per a curse.  If no one makes a choice within 1d10 rounds or the maidens are attacked, both maidens disappear.  If you roll this result again, then the maidens promise different things when they return.   
10- The Moon begins stalking the Elf.  She shines on him at night, constantly bathing him in moonlight, appears during the day to follow him and sends him the occasional gift such as clothing made of mooncloth, a Luna Wolf-skin cloak, love poems, edible crystals, etc.  This continues for 1d10 months.  Each night, there is a 5% the Elf tries to abduct the Elf by opening a portal to the Moon and sending 1d10+6 of her tentacles (5 HD, AR 2, Atk 1d8+2, grapple on a hit) through to try and grab him and pull him through.  The only way to stop this is to politely, but firmly, decline the Moon's advances.  Alternatively, find a way to alert the Sun, her husband, of her infidelity.

from here


  1. Great post! I normallyhate elves but your take on them is really neat and refreshing.