So I got the Epic Level Handbook as a gift from someone very dear to me. It was interesting, but not really worth the money, in my opinion, since most of my campaigns are shorter affairs, and no group under my tutelage has have never reached the golden heights of level 20. But I've never been one to turn down a gift. But rather then let it molder on my shelf, I decided to tear it apart and work through it to see what I could adapt for the OSR. So let's get started, and what better place to start then the beginning!
Chapter 1: Useless. Full of feats (I don't use them), skills (ditto) and notes on making prestige classes. Perhaps interesting if you care about 3.5, but I don't see anything of use here.
Chapter 2: Spells. Most of these are either too complicated, with pages and pages of spell description, or just thirteen different variation of bright light that kills people. Still, they weren't all bad. Here a few I thought were interesting, remixed by me and adapted, for your convenience, into the GLOG style.
Crown of Vermin
R: 30' T: creature D: special
One target creature within range becomes surrounded by a swarm of biting flies, beetles and locusts. To anyone but them within 10', the swarm of insects deals 1d6 damage a round, save for half, with a minimum of 1 damage dealt. The spell remains active until [sum] damage has been dealt. Then the remaining insects fly away.
R: touch T: creature D: [dice] rounds
One creature you touch is sent to Hell. The target creature takes [dice] damage and then returns once the duration is over. If this spell causes them to take more than 3 damage but doesn't kill them, they return with a new scar and a packet of paperwork stapled to their chest. If it causes them to take more than five damage but doesn't kill them, they return missing a limb and their nose pierced, with a vistor's pass dangling off their new nose ring. If the damage caused by the spell is enough to kill them, when the duration is over the only thing that returns is a flensed skull with a strange mark engraved upon it. Each time also has an independent 1d10% equal to [dice] that something unsavory follows them back.
R: 1000' T: creature or object D: [dice] hours
You summon winter. One creature or object within range suddenly starts to emanate immense cold that can be felt up to 1000*[dice]', sucking in all the heat nearby. All unprotected creatures take 1d6 cold damage an hour as long as they do not take shelter. Water in the air is frozen by the immense cold, and a blizzard develops in the range that the cold can be felt, assuming you are outdoors. Additionally, if anyone freezes to death because of this, [dice] of them rise from the grave as unbound Undead, who will lurch around and hunt down the living, to devour them and drink their hot blood.
R: 100' T: a clear space big enough D: [dice] hours
Summons an adult Dragon for the duration. After the duration, it vanishes into thin air. Other creatures should react appropriately as if a Dragon appeared in their midst. The Dragon is intelligent and friendly to the caster. For payment, the Dragon wil perform any task it does not find demeaning or unworthy of its talents. For example, chasing off a squad of Orcs is likely beneath the Dragon's notice, but obliterating an entire company of knights sent to kill the characters is certainly a worth while task, though it is likely to cost the caster a king's ransom. The Dragon will want to be paid, and will leave a location where you can leave the payment. For payment, the Dragon will want something to add to its hoards. For example, if it hoards books, some rare tomes. If it hoards weapons, your magic swords might be sufficient. If the Dragon is not paid, this spell will not work for you again until it is.
R: self T: self D: [dice] rounds
For the next [dice] rounds, when you are hit by a blow, you instead take no damage from the kinetic energy of the blow, though any additional effects (poison, fire, cold, etc) still damage you as normal. Then, that energy absorbed into your body, you may make a melee attack. On a hit, the target takes [sum] damage, where [sum] is the total of all the kinetic energy damage you would have taken from those hits. Ex: if you got hit by two attack each that would have dealt 1d6 damage, [sum] equals 2d6.
R: self T: all creature touching you D: one action
All creatures currently touching you take [sum] damage, equally divided among all those touching you. Any creatures killed by this spell explode into gibblets and red mist. None of the blood or viscera ever gets on you.
R: 30' T: [dice] creatures D: [sum] minutes
[dice] creatures within range must save. Creatures with more HD than [dice] add the difference to their save. Creatures with HD 3x greater than [dice] are immune. On a failure, they transform into Frogs. The Frogs maintain their personalities, motivations and habits, but suffer from a much reduced intellect. They gain the physical stats of a normal Frog and cannot do anything a Frog could not do. All transform back after [sum] minutes, unless the spell was cast with four or more spellcasting dice, in which case it can be as long as the spellcaster wishes, or permanent. If it is permanent, those who failed their save are permitted a second save. If they succeed this new save, they retain their intellect and their ability to speak, but they will be trapped as a Frog for the rest of their days.
R: 30' T: [dice] magical objects D: one action
[dice] magical objects disintegrate into dust. This is Mummy Dust. Pouring it over a freshly deceased corpse allows the spirit it originally hosted to return and reanimate the body, which then rises as a Mummy. The Mummy has the same HP/HD it had while alive, and doesn't necessarily obey you. It also maintains its personality, motivations and habits from when it was alive. Other then that, the Mummy is a traditional Undead in every other respect.
Nailed to the Sky
R: touch T: one creature D: [dice] rounds
One creature you touch is blasted into low orbit around whatever planetoid you are currently inhabiting, flying around at the borders of the thermosphere (right below satellites might be). This causes them to take 1d6 suffocation damage and 1d6 cold damage a round for the duration. Once the spell is done, they are safely transported back to Earth, or more likely, their body is. This is unlikely to hurt creatures used to high altitudes and/or low temperatures, so Yetis and Dragons are likely to be virtually unaffected. Other creatures might also have some kind of resistance, Referee's Discretion. Additionally, you must be under an open sky to cast this. Otherwise it merely pins the creature to the ceiling.
Rain of Fire
R: 100' T: a circle 10*[dice] in diameter D: [dice] minutes
Creates a cloud within range, around 100' in the air. This cloud, once created, begins raining drops of fire down on an area 10*[dice]' in diameter. Everything in the area takes 1d6 damage a round, and becomes lit on fire. Any flammable materials in the area will be caught on fire, and fire will spread normally from there. The fire itself is non-magical.
R: 100' T: a body of water D: [dice] hours
Raises an island out of a body of water. This island will be [dice]*100 feet across. Casting at level 1 will give you a sand bar covered in flopping fish, casting this with two spellcasting dice will get you a crag of rock, and three or more will give you a rocky atoll. If you cast this spell using four or more spellcasting dice, you will have a proper island. Additionally, if you cast this spell using four more spellcasting dice, the duration can be as long as you want, or tied to a specific trigger, such as "If anyone steals my treasure, this island will return to beneath the waves".
R: self T: self D: one action
The caster vanishes and reappears exactly where they were, except [dice] people of the caster's choice are dead.
This spell transports the caster to a parallel universe almost exactly like their own, except for the fact that [dice] people they wish to see dead are already dead in this universe. However, the more people the caster wishes dead, the further their spell has to look, and thus the more different this new universe might end up being. When the Wizard rolls into this universe, there is a 1d10% chance equal to [dice] that one of their companions is different. If the Wizard rolls that one of their companions are different, roll to see what the change is.
What is wrong with my companion?
1. Minor difference, such as a facial scar or a goatee.
2. Different gender.
3. Different class. (Roll randomly.)
4. Inverted stats. (18s become 3s.)
5. Different race. (Roll randomly).
6. Actually an evil twin that will reveal themselves only at the worst possible time (basically turning into an NPC at that point, but let the player play them as normal until then, and don't even tell them). Roll a d4 to see what alternate version they seem to be.
R: 30' T: a line [dice]*10' long D: one action
Creates a wall of plant life that bursts from the ground in a line 10*[dice]' long. This plant life is thick and impossibly dense, and has [sum] HP. It is too wet to burn, so only fire spell of second level or higher can damage it. It must be hacked through with melee attacks to penetrate its defenses. Additionally, anyone hit by it takes [dice] damage. Smaller buildings are also hurt by this as well, taking the same amount of damage. Casting this at first or second level is strong enough to destroy a hut, thatch-roofed cottage or a yurt. If this spell is cast with three or more dice and the line extends through the wall of a stone building or a wall, it can damage those structures as well.
Chapter 3: The Epic Adventure: Yeah, this part is not all that interesting. This is mostly tips on managing the exploits of high-level campaigns. I've never had a campaign that ever reached this level, the highest any of my player groups ever got was to level 10, but some of these tips might be useful. I wouldn't know. However, there is one useful thing of note: a group of epic plot seeds/adventure hooks. Here are the ones I found interesting.
Random Epic Campaign Hooks:
1- The players accidentally or purposefully mess up a much beloved prophecy (such as the up-coming return of a benevolent Deity) and all the followers of that religion turn against them. Can the players fix their mess, and how will the world change as a result of this catastrophic change?
2- A bunch of Wizards, magical people or others of similar stature break away from their home kingdom, literally. A chunk of earth several hundred miles acres in size tears itself out of the Earth and starts to float up into the Heavens. Go find and stop them, as well as try and rescue the many non-magical people unwitting dragged along on this adventure
3- An evil Wizard has perfected dimensional or time travel and has gone in pursuit of the Elf Lords or the True Elves. Chase them across time and space, and do not allow the Wizard to succeed. If they find the Elder Elves, who knows what kind of damage they could do.
4- A player character is attacked and either has their heart stolen or is injected with some kind of slow-acting poison. They must track down the people responsible and find an antidote before they die an unavoidable death. (This might not work if the players have a method of cheating death).
5- An artifact capable of controlling dragons is discovered. Words spreads across the world, and soon people start flocking to its locations, in the hopes of seizing it for themselves.
6- A plague is spreading the minds of Wizards, and anyone infected gradually goes insane, then is enslaved to some kind of magical, otherworldly intelligence with an unknown agenda
7- A powerful Wizarding college enters an all-out war with a large religious organization, instigating an armed conflict that rapidly spirals out of control and threatens to consume everything. If the situation is not somehow stopped, it could consume the whole nation, and maybe even the world.
8- No new babies are being born, and resurrection spells stop working. See Dan's ideas on the subject here.
9- The Pope or Head of a Good(ish) religious organization renounces her deity and her faith. Find out why.
10- The populace of a small community, nation or underclass in an Empire decide that one of the more famous PCs would be a much better ruler, and ask that PC if they will accept the throne and become their King. This will not go over well with the current ruler of these people.
Chapter 4: Epic Magic Items: a note to you, gentle viewer. While I did steal the names, I mostly wrote out the effects of these items myself, as the ones in the book were not in any way suitable for the OSR. By the fourth time I read the phrase, "In the hands of anyone but [insert class] this weapon functions as a +X [insert adjective related to sharp] [insert type of sword]" I gave up and skimmed the rest of the chapter, looking for useful tidbits and excising everything else.
Some magical weapons
1- Gripsoul: Anyone killed by this sword has their soul imprisoned in the gem in the pommel of the sword. The sword's wielder can communicate with the souls trapped within, those since the sword's wielder killed them, they are unlikely to be very helpful.
2- Holy Devastator: A sword that 1/Day can emit natural sunlight for up to 10 minutes. This damages the Undead, Vampires and Ghosts, as well as putting other creatures such as Slimes and Oozes to flight.
3- Unholy Despoiler: A cursed sword that leaves wounds that never heal, and even if the wound itself is survivable, even the smallest wounds will quickly become infected and kill the person wounded. This is an unavoidable fate unless the one wounded kneels before the sword's wielder and agrees to do some task for them. The wielder of the sword knows this, but no one else does. Any contracts made between the sword's wielder and the one wounded are magically binding, though only to the letter of the agreement.
4- Everwhirling chain: A spiked chain that is constantly moving, like a rattle-snakes' rattle in its wielders hands. Can attack or defend on its own, but must obey the orders of its wielder. The chain has the reach property and can entangle other's weapons and shields. If you attempt to retreat from combat with the chain's wielder, they get a free attack against you, assuming you are still within range.
Random Ring Table
1- Ring of Ineffable Evil: 1/Day, the wearer of this ring can drain HP from anyone they touch, healing themselves up to their maximum and gaining temporary Hit Points up to double their maximum HP. These temporary Hit Points, if not wiped away by absorbing damage, fade in eight hours or when the wearer next rests. Anyone who has HP drained from them will feel weakened, but not dead, unless you take all of their HP, in which case they die, with no save permitted.
If a Good person tries to wear this ring, they will feel a constant desire to use their newly-gained ability to exploit people, and if the opportunity to do evil and possibly get away it comes up, they must save or be temporarily overcome with their darker side. Referee's discretion on what counts as Good.
2- Ring of Virtuous Good: 1/Day, the wearer of this ring can push themselves beyond mortal limits, and make one attack against any target they desire, as long as they could conceivably hit that target. For the to-hit roll, the wearer adds their level to the roll, along with any usual modifiers. Then, if they hit, the attack does maximum damage (ex: for an attack that does 1d6 damage it does 6), and counts as magic. It also does double damage to any creature who is either evil or a Minion of the Dark Powers.
If an evil person tries to wear this ring, they feel their conscious tugging on them every time they try and commit any evil action, and if they commit the evil act anyway, they must save or be overcome with shame and regret, even if they are hardened killer or remorseless monster. Referee's discretion on what counts as evil.
3- Ring of Admant Law: 1/Day, the wearer of this ring can make one magical effect or spell cast in their presence to cease to exist. This is a free action, and can be done at any time as a reaction to one of these effects. Any spell or effect nullified by this ring simply ceases to exist, and does nothing.
If a Servant of Chaos tries to wear this ring, it will instead lock itself onto their finger and paralyze the hand, preventing them from using it. Only an Agent of (the) Law can remove the ring. The only other way for a Servant of Chaos to remove the ring is to chop off their finger.
4- Ring of Chaotic Fury: 1/Day, the wearer of this ring can make one spell cast in their presence a level 1d8 spell, forcing the spellcaster to roll that many spellcasting dice, even if they do not have that many normally. The caster is still subject to chaos and corruption as normal. Additionally, any Doom Points, if any accumulated by this spell are the max amount for that kind of magical mishap.
If an Agent of (the) Law tries to wear this ring, it will instead forbid them access to its abilities and burn them for 1d6 damage.
5- Ring of Peaceful Succor: The wearer of this ring, as a full action, can teleports themselves and up to 10*[your level] people to a hidden corner of the universe where they can rest in near-perfect safety. There are sufficient resources there for those teleported there to survive 100 days, divided by the number of people brought there. The ring can then teleport you back, though it cannot allow you to teleport to any place that might be dangerous, and if ordered to do so will not obey, and instead teleport you to the stronghold of a friendly NPC, your childhood home (assuming it wasn't destroyed), or to the wearer's kinsmen (assuming they do not hate the wearer for some reason).
6- Ring of Temporary Invincibility: The wearer of this ring has their HP immediately rise to 1000. They can never gain HP for any reason. For every year they do not wish to age, they can take 1 damage, and do not age. If they ever fail a save and do not wish to fail it, they can instead take 50 damage and act as if they succeeded. If they ever lose a limb or suffer some sort of catastrophic mutilation, they can take 100 damage and immediately regrow the limb or regenerate their body totally. If they do not wish to eat for a day, they can instead take 1 damage and act as if they did. If the wearer ever takes the ring off, they return to their normal HP and whatever health they were at before they put on the ring.
A Legendary Book:
1- Yagarax's Tome: A spellbook containing all the arcane secrets you can think of, and a few more you haven't. Anyone who reads it can learn 1d10+1 new spells. However, for each new spell they learn, they take 1d6 Wisdom damage. If this Wisdom damage ever equals or exceeds their Wisdom score, they gain an insanity. A few possible ones could be: "I am the Greatest Wizard the World has ever seen. All should fear and revere me," or perhaps "I now release the awesome power of magic, and will not face any Wizard greater than I."
2- Libram of Ineffable Damnation: A book of wicked deeds, vile acts, and horrible history. Part novella, part historical work, part instruction manual. When reading this book, the reader may ask 1d6 questions relating to wickedness, acquisition of power, or some other sinister aim such as "How do I marry the princess?" Or "How do I become King of this kingdom?" Or "How do I sell my soul and not end up getting screwed over by the person I sell it too?" The book will provide the answers to these questions. The book also details many lesser evil deeds, such as the recipes for dangerous, addictive drugs, instructions on how to effectively torture someone, how to plan and execute crimes without getting caught, and etc. The first reader of this book, once they read it, will realize how bad this book makes them look, and will usually not want anyone to read it. After the questions have been answered by the book, it vanishes mysteriously, usually amidst a bunch of chaos or a pile of corpses or something similarly distasteful, only to mysteriously end up in the hands of someone else wicked. The book is just paper bound with animal skins, yet has surprised a very, very long time. Goodly beings find the book distasteful, and are loath to touch it, though this isn't a magical effect.
3- Libram of Gainful Grace: A book of parables, moral lessons, and the secret history of many wicked people who would later go on to become great Saints, Teachers and Heroes. When reading this book, the reader may ask 1d6 questions relating to morality, heroism, or overcoming evil, and the book will direct them to relevant passages. Examples include "How do I banish a Demon that is bewitching someone influential?", "How do I break a curse?", or "How do I save a soul that was sold to a Minion of the Dark Powers?" The book also includes many lesser pieces of advice and encouragement relating to godliness, manners, and living in an upright manner. After the questions have been answered by the book, it usually vanishes mysteriously, as it is needed elsewhere. Wicked beings find the book distasteful, and are loath to touch it or look at it, though this isn't a magical effect.
A collection of Rods and Staves
Note: All Staves are magic items, capable of storing a spell, though the person wielding it must possess at least one spellcasting die if they wish to cast it, unless the item's description says otherwise. Rods are just like normal magical items, and can be wielded by anyone.
1- Staff of Winter: This Staff is pre-loaded with any spell that does cold damage. If the Staff's Wielder does cold damage to anyone, as a full action, if they point this staff at the person, that person takes an additional 1d6 cold damage, no save. They can only do this to someone they have damaged with cold in the past 8 hours or less.
2- Staff of Domination: This Staff is pre-loaded with any spell that charms or manipulates people's minds. As a free action, the Staff's Wielder may change the duration of any charm effect spell from its normal to duration to 'for as long as [The Wielder] is conscious'. Once the Wielder goes to sleep, passes out, is rendered unconscious or otherwise dies, the extended spells automatically end.
3- Staff of Fiery Power: This Staff is pre-loaded with any spell that does fire damage. As a full action, the Staff's Wielder may consume any fire within range, healing themselves for 1d6 HP/FS, + 1d6 for each spellcasting dice used to create the fire, if it was created with magic. If not, see below. A torch heals 1d6 HP, a bonfire heals 2d6, a furnace 3d6, and a wildfire or forest fire heals the Wielder to full.
4- Staff of the Cosmos: This Staff is pre-loaded with Contact Outer Sphere. As a full action, if the Staff's Wielder casts Contact Outer Sphere and they have this staff under their control, they may ask a question with up to double the amount of words.
Note: Contact Outer Sphere allows you to ask the stars a question up to [sum] words long. This doubles that to 2*[sum].
5- Staff of the Magician: This Staff is pre-loaded with Prismatic Ray. As a free action, the Staff's Wielder may teleport to the sight of where any of their ray impacted, though they must teleport on the same turn as they cast Prismatic Ray.
6- Rod of the Restless Dead: This Rod grants the Wielder the ability to be unmolested by the Undead. The Undead will treat the Wielder as if they were also Undead. The Wielder may also cast Speak with Dead at will while holding this Rod.
7- Rod of Nightmares: This Rod grants the Wielder the ability to, if they encounter someone asleep, to give them horrible nightmares. All the Wielder must do is look at them while they are sleeping and have the Rod in their possession. These nightmares can be random, or they can contain whatever imagery or contents the Wielder desires. Those afflicted by these nightmares have a 2-in-6 chance of awakening within 1d20 minutes, sweating and afraid. The nightmares are otherwise normal, and fade in time.
8- Rod of Splendor: This Rod grants the Wielder the ability to always look impressive. The Wielder never stumbles, slurs their words, or is dressed in anything but the latest fashion. They look, smell and sound dignified, no matter where they are. Even if those the Wielder is with cannot speak their language, those around them will still think of the Wielder as cool and impressive. Anyone with strong magical abilities, class levels or more HD than the Wielder can save to resist this passive charm effect. The Wielder, if they carry or wield the Rod with them, will always find that people treat them well, offer them gifts, and invite them to nice parties and exclusive social events.
9- Rod of the Archmage: This Rod grants the Wielder 1d4 spellslots and 1d4 spellcasting dice, and allows you to cast spells. Only roll once, when first picking up the Rod. The Rod affects various people different.
10- Rod of Kingship: This Rod allows you to give a person one order, and they will carry it out, no matter what. That person must be making eye contact with you at the time you give the order, and it only works on a person once. The order can only be up to 6+[your level] words long.
Other Assorted Treasures
1- Cabinet of Feasting: This cabinet, once per day, can be opened to reveal enough cooked food to feed everyone that the cabinet's owner wishes it to. The food summoned will always be hot and delicious, and there will always be leftovers.
2- Golem Armor: This is a suit of plate armor that can also act as a 5 HD Golem under the control of the one who possesses its control egg. The Golem is immune to all magic effects that would change its shape, and cannot be hurt by non-magic weapons or effects. While being worn as a suit of armor it boosts the wearer's STR to 18 and their AC to 17, though they cannot use any weapons or cast spells inside the Golem, and will have to make due with the Golem's iron fists (1d6+3, counts as magic). Additionally, if the Golem is destroyed it can be repaired, though at significant expense.
3- Cup and Talisman of Al'Akbar: This is a two part artifact, relics left behind by the Demigod Al'Akbar when he walked among us. The Cup of Al'Akbar is a chalice that takes two hands to carry, and can be filled with any liquid you desire. If anyone suffering a negative effect, such as being poisoned, petrified, paralyzed, blinded, deafened or anything else negative drinks of the liquid filling the chalice or has it poured over their head, the effect is removed, if they are a Good person. If not, they will continue to suffer without relief. This effect usually works only once per day, unless this is the desperate hour of a group that is on a mission from God or some kind of holy quest, in which case Al'Akbar may allow it to work many times.
The talisman of Al'Akbar is an eight-pointed platinum star that gives the wearer holy powers. If they bless any liquid within the chalice of Al'Akbar, the liquid if drunk or poured over someone's head restores them to full HP. This power works only once per day.
Finally, if the cup is filled with a liquid and the talisman is dropped into it, then the liquid is poured out onto the ground, it will create a new body for any being the holder of the relics desires. If anyone the holder loves has recently died and has not departed for the afterlife, they can possess this new body and return from the dead. However, if this final ability is ever used, both the Cup and the Talisman of Al'Akbar disappear from the world, and are not seen again by anyone for another 1*1d100 years.
Also, one final note. The Cup and Talisman of Al'Akbar only work for good people. Anyone who is not virtuous and attempts to use it will find the Cup and Talisman do not obey them, and any liquid placed in the Cup burns them like scalding water, but has no further effect.
Some I made up
1- Diadem of Dominion: A diadem of golden wire, with moonstones and pearls interlaced throughout. Anyone who places this on their brow becomes the rightful sovereign of a nation they've never heard of. This is accepted by everyone in the nation, no matter how little sense this makes, though some people will still rebel, as people rebel against their lawful rulers all the time.
2- Gloves of Spell Stealing: If anyone casts a spell in your presence and you wish for that not to be the case, you can make Charisma check with a DC equal to 8 + the level the spell was cast at. If you make the check successfully, you catch the spell out of the air, and it does not take effect. However, you must hold the spell in between your hands. If you let it go, however, the spell will immediately take effect, unless you trap the spell in an empty scroll, spellbook, wand, staff or Wizard. Additionally, if the original wielder agrees to not cast the spell, the spell will instead return to their brain with no fuss. However, they may be lying, so be careful about that.
- Atropal: Divine abortions or cosmic miscarriages. Giant, semi-divine undead fetuses. Their biggest ability is that if you're weak enough you can't even approach them, as they exude an aura of negative energy that kills anything below 10 HD and raises them as undead servants.
- Phanes: Time travelling shadow monsters. They are semi-divine, godlings who move through time like fish through water. They seek to bind those they can in chains of unbreakable fate, ruin good possible outcomes, and change destiny for the worse. Their biggest, coolest power is the ability to summon versions of its opponents from alternate universes to do its bidding.
- Gloom: A hairless freak that can jump from shadow to shadow. Nigh-uncatchable assassins.
- Ha-Nagas: People headed snake monsters, spellcasters.
- Shape of Fire: An inhabitant of the one of the burning Hells, here to destroy you. Pure, burning rage made manifest.
- Shadow of the Void: a living, three-dimensional shadow that when it touches you, causes cold black flames to spread across your body.
- Winterwight: An undead horror sheathed in ice. Its skull is bare, crowned in cold white, blue or black flames.
Chapter 6: Oh God make it stop: The Epic Setting. Far too many words. I don't care what they say. This details a bunch of characters, settings and factions for Faerun and some other places. You can buy the book yourself if you really care, because I don't.
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